Tag Archives: Divorce

With the High-Conflict Ex, the Struggle Shouldn’t Be as Real as It Gets

The struggle is real for divorcees with high-conflict exes. All they want is a peaceful separation, but their soon-to-be ex-spouse comes raging with complaints, demands, and more fights. It’s ironic — you’re already separated, but you’re still fighting.

For some people, the key to dealing with a high-conflict ex is to fight fire with fire. But the surefire way to defeat them is simple: keep a low profile.

Do not give them more ammunition to shoot you down. Some raging exes are looking for ways to punish their spouses for leaving them; others will seek to control you from afar. But whatever the situation is, do not give them the power.

Apart from seeking help from your local Long Island divorce lawyer, here’s what you can do:

Watch What You Say

One little rumor is enough to sabotage your case, especially if the ex thinks they can use it against you. A slander suit will ruin your chances of swinging the odds towards your favor.

If the ex suspects you are telling stories (even the true ones), they can drag you into court for jeopardizing their reputation. Rather than deal with your ex’s accusations of slander, keep your mouth closed and avoid these troubles down the road. Be careful with the people you confide in, and if no one needs to know, then no one needs to know.

Avoid Any Direct Communication

Limiting direct communication with the ex is easier when you do not have a child. If your soon-to-be ex-spouse makes a habit of fighting, avoid communication as much as possible. Let your lawyer deal with them.

If you have kids, however, custody evaluators and attorneys are helpful. They will guide you through custody arrangements and co-parenting plans, minimizing the chances of seeing the ex. The less you have to deal with your ex-partner, the easier life will be.

Expect the Unexpected

High-conflict exes can be unpredictable. Sometimes, they’ll throw unnecessary lawsuits, threats, and other unpleasant schemes. Some even go further by contacting Children’s Protective Services with false charges of child abuse and neglect.

Expect that your ex might do something crazy. By anticipating their next step, you’ll be prepared to face their attacks.

High-conflict exes are a challenge, but that does not mean there’s no way out. Always seek help from your local attorney to ensure a smooth sailing case.

Men Who Don’t Have a Full-Time Job are More Likely to Divorce

Divorce Lawyer in Colorado Springs

They may enjoy spending more time with the kids while their wives are working, but it seems house husbands are suffering from their modern take on marriage.

While prior research suggested couples who share chores are more likely to call it quits, a newly published Harvard study blames a less controllable divorce risk factor: whether or not the husband works full-time.

Men Working Part-Time More Likely to Divorce

The study published in the American Sociological Review sourced data from 6,300 married heterosexual couples, which were interviewed between 1968 and 2013. Harvard sociology professor Alexandra Killewald and her team found out that all other factors being equal, men who work part-time were 33% more likely to divorce in any given year. This is compared to husbands who worked full time and contributed to the family’s finances.

To put it simply, men’s marriages are one-third more likely to end if they do not fulfill the stereotypical breadwinner role.

Legal Implications of Divorcing Men Who Work Part-Time

If you are planning to divorce your spouse who works part-time, the Law Office of Gordon N. Shayne suggests taking note that his voluntariness or involuntariness for his lack of work makes a difference. Some courts are suspicious of non-working and part-time working husbands, assuming they could work and earn money if they choose to. Of course, this will come down to the opinion of a single judge and does not always hold true and still depends on their divorce lawyer.

During the divorce process, your husband may also ask for alimony. If during your marriage you allowed him to work part-time and care more for the children, courts will take this into consideration. They will likely consider if he will continue to be the kids’ custodial parent.

Also, you might have to support him financially while the divorce process is ongoing, and for a short time after, as he takes steps to find a full-time job.

With the study, it seems the traditional “woman as the homemaker” stereotype has eroded – but the husband breadwinner norm stays. But the real question is, is it worth divorcing a man who doesn’t have a full-time job?

Only if you know there’s something worth saving. But really, divorce won’t probably help with your family’s finances, but it will definitely cut back on the laundry.

Its Over: Taking on Divorce the Healthy Way

Many couples choose to remain in an unhappy marriage because of fear. While many contemplate the idea of divorce, others don’t pursue it because they are scared that it will screw up their kids or fear that they are not strong enough to deal with associated challenges. Some, however, don’t want to venture into the unknown and feel that it is better to stay in unhappy marriage than be divorced.

The decision is always yours. When you finally muster the courage to choose divorce, there will be a rollercoaster of emotions. Denver family law experts note that the best thing you can do is to stay focused on the most important aspects of life and not to dwell in your negative feelings.

Financially Preparations

It is always likely that your financial situation will change after divorce. It is important to accept this fact to help you strategize early on. Experts note that those who accept the reality quicker, recover faster. Keep in mind that you have the ability to make new opportunities and improve your financial situation. In the meantime, know your current financial situation to plan for the changes.

Focusing on Parental Duties

Divorce is emotionally damaging for children. This is why it best to acknowledge their feelings and let them know that you understand what they are experiencing. Once you start to accept that your life is changing because of divorce, the best thing you can do is to be focused as a parent. Be kind when your kids express disappointment about divorce and avoid talking critically about your ex-spouse.

Grieving the Right Way

Healthy grieving is an important process when ending a marriage. This doesn’t mean crying and being alone all the time, however. It is best to accept that full recovery takes time and you will eventually get through it. Healing process involves different stages such as, denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance.

It is normal to feel sad and ashamed at the beginning stages of your divorce. If you feel overwhelmed, don’t hesitate to seek support. Talk to friends and family members, and don’t forget to socialize. This will help you feel less alone and remind the recovery and better future are always possible.

3 Ways to Handle Your Emotions when Going Through a Divorce

Everybody has high hopes and full hearts when they decide to walk down the aisle and marry the person they love most. They say the promise of staying together forever, but the sad truth is, almost half of marriages eventually ends in a divorce. If this happens to you, it will be one of the most painful and devastating things you can experience. Here’s how you can deal with it wisely even though you’re hurting.

Get a Divorce Attorney

People don’t really do well in decision making when they are going through something heavily emotional. That’s why it’s important to get the best Denver divorce lawyer to represent you in court and help you fight for your rights. A divorce lawyer has knowledge and expertise to help you get what you deserve and prevent you from making horrible mistakes and saying things in court that you’ll regret. You’re better off with legal advice from an expert instead of relying only on your emotions.

Be with Other People

You can decide to spend some time alone to think about what you could’ve done differently to save the marriage, but that will only make you even lonelier. What you must do instead is accept other people’s company and support in this trying time. Go to your best friend or your parents and talk to them. Let them listen to you and cheer you up even just for a few hours.

Let Time Heal You

You will go through a lot of emotions in a divorce, but you must be willing to help yourself so you can eventually move on and heal. Don’t succumb to self-hatred, self-pity, self-sabotage, or self-blame. Accept the situation, learn from it, and let time heal you. View this as an opportunity to start over as a better version of yourself.

After all the difficulty of going through a divorce will emerge a wiser and stronger you. Believe in that and you will surely pick up the pieces and start over again in your time.

Dealing with a Case Head-On: Should a Divorce Lawyer’s Negotiation Skills Matter?

Divorce Lawyer

The roles that lawyers in Denver, Colorado serve in a divorce vary from one situation to another. No two families are the same, so to speak. However, there are skills that remain constant and necessary in any divorce proceedings, and even in litigation. Those are negotiation skills.


Lawyers negotiate to explore different avenues for settling a dispute such as a divorce. Negotiation helps them arrive at a compromise to settle a dispute in the most beneficial way possible.

Even if a divorce case reached the point of litigation, lawyers that keep the communication open can make the course of events less complicated. Clients expect lawyers to get them the best outcome.

Divorcing couples that chose a collaborative approach require their attorneys to negotiate not only with each other but also with their clients. They can arrange the former separately, with only the wife’s attorney meeting with her husband and his attorney, or vice versa.

Even if clients do it themselves or go to mediation, they will still need to consult their individual lawyers because such changes are irreversible. Even during the pre-planning stage, Lewis & Matthews, P.C. says couples need help in clarifying their issues and making informed choices. Negotiation skills play a role in coming up with solutions that prove beneficial for all parties involved.

Where it comes in useful

Collaboration Skills. Divorce lawyers may have to collaborate with several specialists outside the legal field, depending on the circumstances that each case presents. They may need financial experts, forensic accountants, and real estate appraisers, among others. Lawyers seek the insights of these professionals as they draft and try to negotiate a settlement agreement based on the jurisdiction that applies to the divorce case.

Ability to help clients evaluate where they stand. Lawyers have to understand the unique situation their client presents to them before they can start to negotiate with the other party. They also have to learn more about the other party, to help their client deal with the case sensibly.

Negotiation skills are important for lawyers, particularly those specializing in divorce in Denver, Colorado. With good skills, the lawyer can explore possible ways to solve a dispute.